When We Were Young
by GypsyFilmGirl
Summary: Regrets and mistakes- Damon had made plenty. But none that are as bittersweet as her. / AU /


Damon parked behind the old basketball gym. It was illuminated with a spotlight, a "Class of 2011" sign hung on the metal siding underneath the timberwolves sign. He'd never been to one of these, but now it was an intervention. Or a depression trigger. He needed to get his shit together. He was in the same place he was years ago, working the same position at the same job, doing the same routine. He needed to try for something different. Something better. Some/one/ better than his one-night stands. He slammed the door to his old car, letting himself into the first set of double doors along the front of the building. Inside, a buffet lined an entire wall of the court. It was covered with fancy silver domes, and people in white suits were dropping entrees into the food warmers. Tables draped in red and black cloths were everywhere, and he hoped that nowhere near this many people would show up. A blonde appeared near the buffet, book in hand and chattering away. He needed no second looks to see that that was Caroline Forbes. She obviously hadn't changed, still in the business of being the boss. However she'd actually made herself a living at it he had heard. He spun on his heel to escape her from seeing him, but a flood of people had come into the building behind him, bustling and talking and hugging. In lieu of joining them, he ducked into a corner to remain an observer. A waiter came by and offered him a glass of wine. It wasn't whiskey, but any alcohol was better than none. Especially at an event like this.

Damon stayed in that spot for the upwards of an hour. People came, but none ever went. They clustered into groups, so much like the old days it hurt. He knew so many faces, but only a few he could put names to. Mostly the people he hung around or played football with. A posse including Tyler Lockwood were all jocks back in the day, but some of them would fool you at the sight of them now. He saw Bonnie Bennett and Caroline together. To think any different would happen would be a joke on him. Bonnie was still her short self, but she resembled Sheila Bennett now more than the Bonnie he remembered. Somewhere at the front of the building, a door slammed and heels clicked hurriedly against the tiles of the lobby floor. She came out on the other side of the court, causing Bonnie to squeal in delight at the sight of her.

He watched her for a while from his corner. She was still beautiful. That long dark hair hadn't changed, draping the length of her long neck and resting delicately on her shoulders. She still had her figure: that slight hourglass was outlined in a lacy black dress, a slimming trick of the females she'd enlightened him on in their years before. He'd always told her she didn't need it and never would. She would just smile and wear black anyways. Any smile of hers would inevitably eat him up. Ages ago, they were the highlight of his days. He remembered their time together, royalty of the Mystic Falls High Class of 2011. A quarterback and a cheerleader captain. They ruled this school. How he missed those days. Finally after what seemed like a lifetime, Elena left her conversation with Bonnie and Caroline. They bustled over to another group, leaving her alone. Her gaze quickly fell on him, even in the shadows. She stopped when she realized who he was, not that she had to even think, and gave him the smile he'd been waiting for as he began to cross the gym to her.

Her age had began to show; the faintest of lines formed around the corners of her lips. She looked tired, but her eyes were still so bright. In the light, slivers of gray showed to be woven in her long dark locks like metallic vines. He couldn't care less. She was as radiant now as she was then. A diamond ring rested on her left hand, a sore reminder of his eternal mistake. He quickly tore away from that.

He, however, was only more handsome than he was the last time she had seen him. He must still hate to shave, she thought, seeing that scruff on his chin that seemed to be a permanent part of Damon Salvatore. That perfect lip quirked into that snarl of a smile, a thing that hooked girls left and right back then and probably to this day. God.

"Hi," he said. He buried his hands in his pockets as he stopped a few feet from her, those piercing blue eyes never leaving her.

"Hi," she answered back with a soft smile.

"Been a while," he said, checking his watch playfully. "About thirty years. Is that what you've got?" Elena laughed a little. She didn't expect him to be here. He hadn't been at the last three, supposedly due to being drunk. But those were the same gossipers from the old days who would tell anything. No telling what it really was. She didn't think she wanted to know the reason, anyways.

"Yeah. Something like that. How are you?" Damon rolled his shoulders. How good was being him?

"I'm still alive, so pretty well." He leaned against a chair, trying to decide where to start. He came here to get a kick in the ass. Instead it was just a knife in the heart. Why didn't he think she wouldn't be here? "You look amazing."

"Thanks. You too," she nodded, not delving too deep there. She could if she let herself. "Glad you made it. We wonder about you everytime we get together. Are you still in Richmond?" Damon scratched the back of his neck.

"No, I...I came home about ten years ago when Stefan died. Moved into the old Boarding House to help Rebekah with the kids. Four toddlers, one parent. Whew." He chuckled a little.

"Oh, I remember hearing about him. I'm so sorry." Damon flashed a smile for a second before moving on from that sore subject.

"What about you?"  
"Well, after college, I came home. I worked for about a year at Dad's practice before moving to New Hampshire. He died about a year ago. Mom left, moved to Tennessee to the mountains. We moved back from DC and took the house. I work the practice now, between running Rosie to ball games and cheer practice."

"Rosie?"

"My daughter. She's fifteen." Elena began to flip through her phone, pulling up a picture of the girl with what Damon assumed to be her father. She had Elena's big brown eyes.

"Matt Donovan?" he questioned warily, seeing that quiet guy from a class below them toting the girl on his shoulders.

"Her dad. She's got him trained." Elena was beaming, so proud. It crushed him. He could of had that.

"Looks just like you," he forced a smile.  
"Evidently has my attitude, too." She rolled her eyes in humor. "I don't think so, but others claim differently."

"He must have his hands full then," Damon tried to jab, knowing what that meant.

"He deals," Elena laughed, tucking her phone back into its place in her purse. "What do you do now, Damon? I've asked, but again-you kind of fell off the earth after high school."

"I worked at that plant for about a month after graduation. Dropped it, went to work at a farm in Blackstone, and here I am." Elena couldn't say she expected more, but she had really hoped to hear he'd made a decision to go to college somewhere down the road. He was incredibly smart. He just never chose to use it for himself.

"Farmhand. Last place I'd ever think to see you," she smiled. "But then again...I can see it."

"We went to a farm once."  
"I remember. It was that year we were volunteering with Mom's preschool. Or rather, /I/ was volunteering."

* * *

Elena silently counted kids as they filed out of the two buses. Her mother headed the line of three and four year olds and Damon followed, herding them like tiny little sheep when they strayed out of line. That was often, because they were so distracted by the new sights. Fifteen of them, counting the tired, fussy little girl that was riding on her hip. She followed behind them, locking the doors on the vans and talking to the sulking toddler who had her head laid against her shoulder.

"Thank you for coming, Damon. I can imagine that kids aren't exactly...your cup of tea," she said as she followed the troop of kids into the gates of the farm. Signs pointed towards the petting zoo they were headed for, and they grew more excited as the animals started coming to the pasture fences to see the tiny people strolling down the drive.

"No way. I'm totally good with kids," he scoffed. "I mean, I did watch my brother alot when he was younger." Elena gave him a "really" look.

"I don't think that counts, Damon. Besides, these kids are way younger than that, and there's fifteen of them. It's a little more work than your brother who's about as rambunctious as a sloth."

"Hey, are you saying my brother's slow?"

"/No./ I'm saying he's calm. He doesn't even get mad that often. He's like a walking chill pill." Damon laughed.  
"I'll tell him that. Or, you could when you come to a family dinner at the house one night. What do you say?" Elena blinked.

"Damon, we're not...why would you invite me to dinner?"

"Because we're friends," he shrugged, struggling on that last word. "And I'm sure my parents would love you." Elena hesitated. Did she want to get involved in this? With him? He was dating Vicki Donovan. There was obviously a rule about that. And she was pretty sure a family dinner was breaking that rule.

"I'll...think about it," she smiled. He smoothly wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him.

"You should," he nodded. "My mom's an amazing cook. And for dessert, we'll go out. Just us." He grinned, his voice having fallen a few decibels. She felt his hand carefully begin to slide. She rolled her eyes.

"Damon, touch my ass one more time in the presence of these kids and I will /murder/ you," Elena hissed under her breath as she swatted his hand away. "They're here to learn and you're a bad influence!" He chuckled, proud of himself, and walked to the end of the table to seat the kids for their lunch.

Miranda began unpacking the cooler sack she had. This morning, Elena and her mother had spent three hours making eighteen lunches, being sure that none of them were tainted with something any child might be allergic to. Each tiny little person took a bag with complete excitement, tearing open the brown paper to eat. They were all in such a hurry, Elena heard her mother making them slow down while she was still passing them out.

"Here, Elena. Take this back to the van," she said as she started eyeing kids. "No use toting it all over. When you, and Damon, I guess, come back, we'll try to eat before they get on any sugar highs."

She took the bag from her mother and began the walk back to the car. The sun was warm, but the wind chilly. She cursed that Damon wasn't around; she would have sent him instead and saved herself the trip. Wherever the hell he was. As she walked, she started thinking about all the letters she'd gotten the past weeks. She was barely a freshman, but the idea that being just four years from starting college had suddenly fallen on her. She was terrified because she had /no/ idea what she was going to do when she was finished with high school. College was a definite, but what was she going to do there? Medicine? Writing? Dental hygiene? What if she couldn't get in? What happened then? As she passed the hay barn, she felt arms wrap around her. She let out a squeal of surprise as she was pulled back into towers of hay and pushed against the wall. She saw those crystalline eyes of his, mouth quirked into a victorious little smirk as his crushed a kiss into hers. Her first thought was to pull away. He was /insane./ Flirting all day long, throwing dirty jokes on the way here. But the longer he kissed her, the more she realized she liked it. The more she realized she loved it. She would even go so far to say she wanted more. Damon had her wrists pinned to the metal wall above her head, grazing her jawline as she finally caught her breath.

"/Damon,/" she sighed, "This is so-"

"Right, and you know it," he murmured against her throat, making her squirm a little in his grasp. Her cheeks were hot with bother. Ugh.

"We are not a thing," she whispered, pushing him a little as the minimal effort would soothe her nagging conscience.

"We can be a thing."

"You're with Vicki, aren't you? Then no. We can't be a thing." He peered down at her, those eyes so piercing it felt like they saw right through her.

"So if I'm not with Vicki?"

"We can be a thing," she said pointedly. "I don't date guys who are taken."

"I'm taken with you. Does that count?" He smirked at his own joke, and she huffed and pulled her wrists out of his grasp.

"Not what I meant, jackass. I-"

"I know. I'll fix it. Starting tomorrow, we're a thing."

"Damon, that's wrong."  
"Vicki and I are nothing. We barely even talk. It's dead. We just haven't made it official."

"Look, don't get me wrong-" He laid a finger gingerly across her lips, stopping her in her words. He was suddenly serious, and it made her freeze.

"I promise you, Elena. It's nothing. I really want you. I think you're pretty amazing. And if you might want me...I don't see the problem."

* * *

"My mom still doesn't know what happened to us that day," Elena said through a smile to herself. "Well, she knows. She just wants to hear me say it." Meandering outside when the speakers began to play old songs from their high school years a little too loudly, they had begun walking the sidewalks lining the front of the school, following them wherever they led. They'd passed the cafeteria, the elementary building. A door hung slightly open to the high school hall. Elena was a little hesitant to pass through it at first, very aware that none of her teachers were here anymore. All the people that were here now were her age, and they taught. And that was a little terrifying to her. The idea of not knowing anyone here was eerie-almost like losing a part of her, but she remembered it in all its glory. It was growing dark now, crickets starting up in the grass around them and cicadas clicking loudly in the distance.

"And will you?" Damon's voice echoed a little down the empty hall.

"Never! Our little secret," she smiled at him. They both remembered that kiss like yesterday. Best idea of his life.

"I always liked you. You were just with Vicki." Damon rolled his eyes.

"She was nothing but a filler. I didn't even like her. She liked the title. Killed her when she knew I was going for you."  
"Me?" Damon coughed.

"Cheerleader captain, homecoming queen." Elena grimaced as she began to see.

"Yeah, I guess. I did dethrone her, didn't I?" Damon shrugged.

"She bragged about riding the baseball team's dick, so I moved on. I had been trying to ask you for months before then, and-" Elena let out a cackle.

"Uhm. Excuse me? /Ask?/" She rose a brow.  
"Well…"

"You never /asked./ We just kind of agreed. And made out in a hay loft the entire lunch break." Elena chuckled before adding under her breath, "And almost every lunch break after that."

"And study hall."

"Until Coach Tanner caught us in the old driver's ed room our senior year."

Damon smirked.

"That wasn't just a hot makeout session, though." Elena half-laughed. Tanner seeing her naked on the teacher's desk hadn't been her fondest memory of her last year of school.

"Mm. Let's not recount that, shall we?"

"Suit yourself," Damon grinned to himself and was quiet for a second too long. Elena elbowed him in the ribs and he lazily bumped the wall with a laugh.

"You're not funny," she tried to say seriously, but failed as a laugh of her own coated her words. They reached the other end of the hall, passing that said class room. Through the glass window, the same desk sat in the same position with the same broken chair behind it.

"That day was the same day that I came to your house. Your family was gone."

* * *

"Babe, you're drunk," Elena groaned. She'd let herself into the house. It was quiet, except for the fireplace in the den. Damon was in the parlor, having helped himself to Guiseppe's stock of bourbon. He obviously hadn't told himself to stop, either. He was glassy-eyed and hazy, but he was interrogating Elena like she was a criminal. "It's dark. You were supposed to be here three hours ago. Where were you?" He was truly concerned, but by the flatness of his words, she couldn't tell to what degree.

"I was at practice. Today was a long day-we ran the field, like we do every Thursday. You know that." Damon snorted as she took his glass away.

"Whatever. You're lying."  
"Really?" She said it carelessly, knowing he was just babbling. "Where was I then?" Damon rolled his shoulders.

"Probably with that Lockwood dick. Who knows."

"Please, Damon. I have better respect for myself than that," she laughed, amused at what his foggy mind had created. She walked past him, and he just watched her.

"I don't know."

Elena shot a glare at him from the table where she'd put the booze away, hurt and completely appalled. Was he really going to ride this?

"What did you just say to me?"

"You heard me. Lockwood. Dick." She quivered a little with instant anger.

"Fuck you. I work my ass off in this relationship. If you think any less, you're a fool."

"Didn't say that," he muttered, leaning against the dark paneling of the wall nearby.

"Now you say I lie? What is your issue? Just because a guy flirts with me doesn't mean I'm going to bend over for him."

"Didn't you?"

"That is /not/ what happened, Damon, and you know it," she spat.

"Maybe should we revisit it. Tell me what happened, then." He reached over, grabbing her by her waist. "He was about this close, wasn't he?"

"It was a kiss, Damon. That was it. It's not like I gave him head. And I didn't even kiss him back. Wasn't beating the hell out of him enough?"

* * *

"Senior year was a huge fuck up," Damon muttered, hands buried in his pockets as they sat down in the bleachers of the stadium. The lights shone on the timberwolf emblazoned on the grass in ink, the air thick with silence. "Worst year of my life."

"I was so hopeful we could make it out," Elena said, staring at the field, feeling out of place in these aluminum seats. Her place was on the sidelines. Wrapped in red and black and cheering on her team, sweltering heat or freezing winter. "I wanted you so bad to be with me."

"I did too," Damon said solemn, watching her as she curled in on herself a little. He glanced to her lap and then, after a while, he found his palm resting on the middle of her thigh. She wanted to much to tense as a silent way to tell him to back off, but she didn't.

Those words stung both of them. She knew damn well that she wanted him. But she was right: she couldn't. She had Matt and Rosie, and she loved them with everything she had. She watched his hand, silent, terrified to actually look up to him. What could really happen?

"Elena…"

"I have a family, Damon. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't." But she didn't move his hand off her leg. Not for a long minute or two. Had he really changed so much? He was such a wild guy all those years ago. Sure, he loved her, cared for her, showed her that. But he was the guy you didn't bring home to meet your parents. He spun out of control and try as she might, she wanted to help him. But it was something that just couldn't be done. Not without him trying, too.

* * *

Elena ducked through the bleachers, finding Damon sitting on the aluminum bench in his robes, holding his degree in one hand and studying it blankly. He almost looked like a statue he was so still. They were free, but he didn't look as thrilled as she was. She smiled as she slid across to bump hips with him, giddy on her biggest accomplishment yet. She had so many goals, but the most important one had just been met.

"Hey, grad boy." He glanced at her, wrapping his arm about her and kissing her cheek. She reached over and flipped open the black leather folder to see his diploma. She barely got a glimpse before he slapped it back shut. She jumped, then moved away from him.

"Hey! I'm just looking!"

"At what? It's just a paper telling us we wasted a decade and a half."

"Damon! It's more than that. It's the next step- we can go to college, get jobs. We're about to be on our own."

"I'm not going to college. I already spent my life in a desk. I'm done with that."

"But the scholarship...You get a full ride."

"I don't care," he said bitterly. He'd been thinking about this since his first day of senior year. "I'm not going. We can do things besides that." He gently patted her knee, but she just stared at him.

"Damon, it's insane not to do this. You don't have to pay. It's free. Do you know how many people would kill for that. How much /I'd/ kill for that?"

"Then you take it," he shrugged. "I'm not going." Elena's shoulders fell, let down. She was so excited about going to college with him. Now he was just dropping it. "I've got a job lined up at the factory in Richmond. It's good pay. Good kickbacks."

"I was so much hoping we'd get a place together," she sighed. "Just us."

"We still can," Damon smirked, liking the idea entirely too much. "Come with me to Richmond. We'll find an apartment or a house. We'll never see Mystic Falls again." He was grinning at that idea too.

"I can't. I have Whitmore. You know that." She felt him tense. He pulled away from her, looking down in surprise.

"Whitmore? You mean you're going? That's—six hours from here. I'll never see you!"

"Of course I'm going!"

"Wait, babe, let's talk about this."

"There's nothing to talk about, Damon," she laughed, thinking he was just being silly about it. "I'll be home every other weekend. I've already planned it. I'll call you, we'll text—it's not like we'll be totally cut off."

"Whatever," he grumbled. "We're barely together as it is. This'll just completely trash it." Elena stood up from the bleachers, hurt that he'd ever say such a thing, but really not that surprised.

"You know what? Screw you, Damon. Sometimes I don't think you even try." She snatched up her mortarboard from where she'd sat, close to tears but adamant on not letting them out. "I'm going with Bonnie and Caroline on our trip. When I get back, I'll be packed to go. If you want to come say goodbye, I'm leaving at 2 next Friday. If not...I guess that'll just tell me all I need to know."

* * *

"We were never good, Damon," she said half-heartedly.

"What?! Of course we were good, Lane. We were amazing. Don't you remember?" Elena shivered a little at the sound of his nickname for her. The first time she'd heard it in decades, and it was as sweet now as it was then. God, she wanted to go back. Just for a second.

"Damon, we fought so much near the end. You were such an ass. Not to mention how many times I wanted to leave you because you were so impulsive." Damon swallowed, knowing that was one of the worst things he did when they were younger. He jumped to conclusions. He never listened to her side.

"I know," he murmured, "But all those other times, when we were happy. You can't tell me you don't remember those, too."

"Of course I do."

A silence fell between them. Elena fumbled with her empty glass, Damon watching her intently as he licked his lips, hoping he wouldn't scare her away with any of this.

"Letting you go was the biggest mistake I ever made," he spoke. Elena didn't look up. She didn't think she could. She knew he was right. But she felt just as much at fault; she never went after him. But she was so tired of fighting him, she had made that fight their last. For her own sake. And even though she was in love with her life, she still regretted it.

"I know," she said simply. "But it just wasn't right. We were young."

"You're right."

"I wish we could have, but things just didn't work for us then."

"You're the best thing that ever happened to me, Elena. And I just-I need to tell you that, because I knew it as soon as I didn't show up that day. But you had so many plans. I didn't belong." Elena's head whipped in his direction, stunned.

"Damon, no. That's not true."

"You were going places, but I was stuck."  
"I included you in every one of those plans," she said a little harshly, but then she bit her lip, feeling a bit bad for saying it that way. "I wanted you there. You just had to come." Damon hung his head in shame, wringing his hands. His old habit. She reached over, taking his hands in hers and giving them a gentle squeeze. It felt like it was his heart instead.

"I still love you, Elena," Damon whispered, watching her as she gingerly set his hand in her lap. She didn't flinch. She'd been anticipating this for the past thirty years, and she knew this was it. This was their long-awaited breakup- their closure. She nodded sorely, soaking up this moment before it had to end. Thirty years late. She slowly let the space between them close, pressing her lips to his in that kiss that always felt so right. And it still did. It felt like a heat in the middle of the winter, a drink in the middle of a desert. It stirred her heart. It really felt like it was breaking all over again. His palms caressed her cheek, inviting her to stay. My, how she longed to. She carefully pulled them away, rising off the bleacher seat and watching him. Damon saw the glassiness in her eyes as she stood to go, and it tore him up. She always would love him. She always would want him. But it just wasn't right. That's how it started, and that was how it would end.

"Goodbye, Damon," she whispered softly, letting him go for the very first and very last time, and leaving their past where it had grown all those years ago.


End file.
